There are times when humans go to the bathroom and leave something larger than what you would think is humanly possible to pass. There have been football size dookies left in toilet bowls. Like, did this person split in half? Did this person exit the restroom a new being? Did they fly out of the bathroom stall un-tethered to the earth able to now freely float about and defy the laws of gravity? How did we not hear this happen? Where were the pained screams and unbridled panic that surely must have accompanied such a monumental passing? Giving birth is less impressive than what was deposited into the porcelain throne.

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