I discovered a gruesome site when walking into the men’s room a week or so ago. The sink was covered in blood, the trash cans overflowing with blood soaked paper towels, the stench of death in the air… Or the normal stench of the men’s room. Upon closer inspection, mixed among the clotting blood on the sink counter I noticed small puddles of shaving cream. One, please don’t shave in the restroom. Two, don’t be such a bleeder, wuss. Three, be a real man and shave with just water like I do. Four, get your razor either sharpened or dulled to prevent any future shaving massacres. Five, go see Pacific Rim.

Seriously, Pacific Rim was the most fun I’ve had in a movie theater in YEARS. I’ve talked to so many people who’ve said, “I saw the trailer, it looked kind of dumb.” Well, it’s not dumb. It’s the most un-dumb-ing-iest thing ever. Besides, when I first saw the Lord of the Rings trailer I thought it looked kind of dumb and look how that turned out. Pacific Rim is so good. If you don’t exit the theater after viewing that film wearing a huge smile on your face you must be one of those weird people who hate having fun. Also, go see it just to keep that execrable “Grown Ups 2” from getting any more money. I still don’t see how anything with the name “Adam Sandler” sells movie tickets still.